As a physician or nurse the time frame for an intimate relationship with your patients is collapsed. By virtue of your role you are granted a level of trust which usually takes several encounters to develop. Just like you want to have an individual relationship with your doctor and co-workers, so too do your patients and those you work with. Depersonalization is a symptom and a cause of burnout.
The word “time” may be causing a knot in the pit of your stomach. Don’t worry. You can do this. A few simple steps to create the sense of more time and show thoughtfulness.
- SMILE and eye contact when you meet your patient, co-worker or friend. This creates warmth and sends a message of goodwill within yourself as well as to the other person.
- Ask “What’s going well for you?” You’re probably used to starting off with the chief complaint, however “What’s going well?” helps the other person focus on a positive. You demonstrate interest in the other person, and it also gives you something to focus on for encouraging the other person. You can then move onto the problem.
- Take a lunch, coffee break or brief walk with a colleague, co-worker or direct report. This builds camaradery, allowing you to know one another better, and feel like you’re working on the same team for the same purpose. It’s important to carve out time with friends too.
- Personalize by asking individualized questions; this reflects your thoughtfulness. Use EHR to assist you by making notes of what’s important to your patient (see last week’s blog). In your life beyond work, pay attention to what’s important to the people who are important to you. The Gottman’s* talk about making “love maps” as a way to remember important details about your partner’s life. For example, what they like and dislike, personal history, individual values and names of important friends and co-workers.
What are some ways that you show thoughtfulness? Please Share what you do. For a more personal approach to cultivating your relationships contact me.
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Dina, 203.744.YOU3 (9683)
Revitalize Your Life
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*Gottman, Gottman and DeClaire, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, Three Rivers Press, 2006
