Forgiveness is challenging and rewarding; it frees you up to move forward with greater happiness and potential. There are many frustrations working in healthcare – the pressure to be efficient re time even with increasingly complicated cases, the lack of autonomy and the feeling like you may be doing data entry rather than the meaningful patient care you looked forward to. If you’re bogged down during or at the end of the day with anger toward a patient, colleague or system problem, going through a forgiveness ritual can lighten your mood and improve your outlook.
Recently, Deepak Chopra posted an article discussing the 3 “dragons” that interfere with forgiveness: judgement, blame and anger. Each “dragon” offers its own secondary reward: judgement supports a self-righteous attitude; blame removes responsibility from one’s self, and anger can be used to justify aggression.
Here are several actions you can engage in to let go of the “dragons” and gain the benefits of forgiveness.
Start with an easy forgiveness, for example one that bothers you but may not cause anger. Just allow yourself to say to yourself you forgive the action, words or event and truly let it go.
Imagine forgiveness – identify a situation and the particular person whom you blame for mistreating you; then view the situation from that person’s viewpoint.
Write a letter of forgiveness – describe in detail the injury or insult you experienced, how it affected you and continues to have an impact, include any lessons learned. Conclude with a statement of forgiveness. You don’t need to mail it.
Ruminate Less see the blog from July 2, 2014.
Use of Loving Kindness Meditation *
- Sit quietly and take in several deep cleansing breathes then
- Imagine someone you love, see that individual in your mind’s eye, noticing something(s) you appreciate and mentally say this Metta Prayer – “May you be safe. May you be Happy. May you be Healthy. May you live with Ease.” Variations may include: “May you know Love, May you experience peace. May you know strength in times of challenge.” As you practice, you’ll come up with phrases that suit you and the person you are offering loving kindness to.
- Repeat these phrases silently several times.
- Now see yourself in your mind’s eye and say the Metta prayer silently to yourself, again repeat it several times so that you experience the words.
- To forgive others, keep recalling the positive and loving feelings you invoked with the prayer on behalf of the person you love and yourself, and imagine a person who hurt you or you are angry, irritated or strongly disappointed with. Repeat the metta prayer for this person. When you experience positive feelings while imagining someone you’re angry with, you break the pattern of stress reactions that normally occur in your mind and body while thinking of the person who hurt you. When you surround your heart with positive energy, the power the other person has had over you begins to dissipate.
What’s one thing that’s helped you with forgiving another? Click on the text bubble on the linked page.
Forgiveness is life affirming demonstrating a hope for the future. To increase your hope even more, and reconnect with your well-being, contact an experienced healthcare coach like me.
Revitalize Your Life,
Dina, 203.744.YOU3 (9683)
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*Use of Loving Kindness meditation has been associated with expansion of positivity and improved mood http://www.positivityresonance.com/meditations.html
