Nurses and doctors often accompany people on sad journeys and see people when they are vulnerable. The constant exposure to those in need and vulnerable takes a toll, and when you ignore the impact, you may be cutting yourself off from not only difficult feelings, but pleasant ones as well. You get to have the full range of emotions, the elated moments, perhaps when your child is doing an outstanding job, as well as the moments of despair when you may be confronted with a great sadness which you are witnessing, like the demise of a young person. And there are all the emotions and the experiences in between. The lack of emotion you are experiencing is a sign of burnout.
Where you put your attention has a powerful impact. It is one thing to experience difficulty and another to keep going over it. What we focus on expands. When people focus on negativity that tends to be what is seen in a variety of settings. The impact of your focus also works for the positive – by focusing on the good and what’s going well, you cultivate your ability to see and experience more of the positive in life. Your attitude improves.
Barbara Fredrickson, a researcher at UNC has observed what she calls Broaden and Build. This theory recognizes that positive emotions broaden people’s ideas about possible actions, expand one’s vision literally and metaphorically and increase the ability to be creative problem solvers. Positive emotions increase pro-social behavior, and they build our resilience to weather the challenges of life.
Here are three Ways to cultivate a Positive Focus.
- 3Ws – What Went Well? Ask yourself this question daily. Keeping a journal of your responses will increase the positive shift that comes in the moment and extends into your days.
- Reframe – Look at your experiences from a new vantage point. Ask yourself questions like these, “What else was going on? … What would an outsider see? … How can this be used for good in my life?… What’s the silver lining here?”
- Savor – look forward and imagine enjoyable experiences you anticipate, notice and be aware of the positive in the moment, and recall the good and wonderful things in your life. The more you can imagine yourself in the situation, including your sensory experience, and the more real it becomes in your mind, the more powerful the positive effect it will have for you.
For more ideas on how to increase your happiness check out The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky.
Blogging about these topics increases my positivity. I wonder what you do to focus on the positive. What internal work are you doing to provide yourself with self-care? Leave a reply
To become more aware of what you can do and move from burnout to well-being, contact me for a consultation.
Enjoy the Rumi poem below.
Revitalize Your Life,
Dina, 203.744.YOU3 (9683)
Improving well-being for professionals through coaching.
If you like this post please share. If you’re not yet on my list, please sign up at HeartofWellBeing.com to receive articles regularly.
The Guest House
Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
