Last month, I meant to write about gratitude for our challenges, but I kept putting it off. Now that Thanksgiving is behind me, it is easier. For my family Thanksgiving was always the time we celebrated together with extended family at my mom’s house. It was the one time of year when we were all together. My mom’s death in February and the sale of her home altered much about Thanksgiving this year, including our commitment to celebrate together; so, we were a much smaller group this year. It was not the celebration we were used to, and we still shared much love and appreciation for one another, in addition to good food.
The loss of a mother, especially one that is close, is profound. I am continually grateful for the time I got to share with her, care for her and enable her to remain in her home over the last several months of her life. Having been a nurse for many years and worked in hospice, I was somewhat prepared, and we all know that it is different to be experiencing this first hand. My mother’s life while dying would not have been so meaningful and rich without the variety of people involved. I am grateful to my 2 siblings who rose to the occasion as well as to a number of friends of my mom and of us. My mom also had a close relationship with her aide from hospice; thank you Candice. Additionally, our families were challenged and we all came out intact and probably a bit stronger. The intensity of the experience increased a level of intimacy.
In addition to the death of my mom, I have refocused my coaching to work with health care providers. While by comparison, this seems that it should be a small challenge, it has turned out to be a bit of a shift in identity. So often, what we find challenging is what makes us look at “Who am I? … What am I capable of?” When we come out the other side of a challenge there is information for us regarding what we are capable of and hints as to who we are. While some of our limits may show up, often we find we are stronger, more capable, wiser and generally more than we anticipated. For this information we can be grateful.
Here are some ways to use gratitude which have helped me
- While you may not be enjoying the challenges in your life, even in the midst of what feels like a crisis, it’s worthwhile to stop and appreciate what is present in that moment.
- Occasionally take a long view and think about what you would like to take from the challenge and keep that in mind as your progress through; there is an opportunity here too.
- Look back and see what you have learned and gained from the experience. While sometimes the memories are painful, self-reflection for positives can increase your appreciation and diminish some of the negativity associated with the situation.
If you are looking for support or want to connect with your vitality even while going through a challenging time, contact me.
Dina 203.744.YOU3 (9683)
