Sometimes it comes up during coaching that a nurse or physician has to give feedback to a colleague. For many people this feels difficult and reminds them of “confronting another person.” I’ll often recommend thinking about “What would you like to see more of?” and “What would you like to see less of?” This is a less aggressive approach.
While in some cultures and families resolutions are important, in the US most people don’t follow through on their resolutions even through the end of January. A major reason for the poor rate of follow through is lack of external accountability. Many people don’t acknowledge this need and and end up judging themselves harshly. Has anything like this ever come into your mind, “I can’t even stick with this important goal… How can I expect patients to stick with what they need to do?” Or “I can’t follow through on what I think is important, how can I expect to follow through on the less important.” or the plain old “I’m unreliable.”
In Better than Before, Gretchen Rubin dicusses 4 tendencies related to follow through. She refers to people who do well at meeting outer expectations, those imposed or requested by others or the system, as “obligers.” There is no judgment in this, just a recognition of external expectations providing both motivation and a sense of accountability which obligers rise to.
Here’s an alternative to resolutions. In thinking about this New Year and reviewing 2015, consider what’s working for you.
- What would you like to stop doing?
- What would you like to do less of?
- What would you like to keep doing?
- What would you like to do more of?
- What would you like to start doing?
What’s one to three thing(s) you would like to commit to? If you need to be accountable to someone or something external, set up the accountability for yourself as part of your plan for success. Here are a few ideas.
- Use a Calendar – this is an impersonal external accountability where you can check off how much you do related to your goal on a daily basis. Have clear guidelines at the top of your calendar and keep it visible, perhaps even public, so that you are aware of how much you are doing.
- Accountability Buddy – choose a supportive person with whom you’ll check in with daily or weekly. Let this person know your progress.
- Accountability Group – perhaps you can set up a group of a few people who can all check in with one another regarding their individual goals. You can do this in person or as an email or Facebook type group. You’re all working together, even if toward individual goals, and can share support.
- Hire a Coach – Accountability is one of the distinguishing aspects of a coaching relationship. Coaches help you tap into your motivation as well as formulate a plan that is designed for you individually.
You don’t have to go it alone. Join me for Lead from Your Strengths, a package of 4 coaching sessions focused on using your personal strengths to your greatest benefit.
To connect with your well-being, contact me.
Happy New Year, Revitalize Your Life,
Dina, 203.744.YOU3 (9683)
Improving physician and nurse well-being through coaching.
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