Q: How are you? A: Busy
Where do you go from there? Does busy cut off further conversation or will it lead into a long list of “To Do, Doing and Got Done.”
There is a way in which ‘busy’ separates us from others. This contributes to the sense of isolation many people who are feeling burnt out experience. Not only does busy keep others at a distance from us, it also can keep you at a distance from yourself.
Time management is a common theme that comes up for professionals. Most of us desire to both meet goals which require setting time aside and we also desire some time for flexibility. Some experts recommend scheduling every minute so you get the most out of your day. To me, that makes the calendar into a sort of task master. When is the time to BE? After all, we’re human beings not human doings.
Recently, I asked a client about how she felt when she looked at her calendar with every block filled in; her response was “edgy” with the sense of overwhelm coming through. When asked how she felt when even an hour was left open, her response was “breathing room … potential hour…empty time… a little scary, I might waste it.” This left her between a rock and a hard place. You too might be a familiar with open time as a bit scary.
When I was on my way to burn out and once there, I was so caught up in the doing that I did not like those open spaces either. I was afraid of alone time with myself in which I was not “accomplishing.” What might come up for me? Perhaps, I would have to experience the fatigue and isolation.
An alternative perspective is to make time alone into time for solitude, “a state or situation in which you are alone usually because you want to be.” How can you cultivate and ensure that you set time aside to be flexible and experience solitude?
Experiment with your calendar and set aside some time daily ‘To Be.’ If 15 minutes is all you have or all you need, set that aside. If an hour is needed, see where you might have an hour that is open and may have previously been thought of as “empty” time. What would you like to fill it with? Mark your calendar in a way that will guide you to using the time in a flexible way that will serve you. Be creative in how you label this time, use a distinctive color that is attractive to you. Below are a few ideas for naming these time blocks.
Recess, Intuition time, Being, Meditation, Time Out, Break Time, Centering
Engage your humor and imagination and see what you come up with. Let us know by adding your comment.
As you regularly spend time checking in with yourself and your environment you’ll begin to notice patterns in your thoughts. You’ll have an opportunity to recall what makes the surrounding activities on your calendar important, what you need to do next and reacquaint yourself with yourself.
I wonder what your answer, even to yourself, will be when asked “How are you?”.
For more ways to move toward your well-being, sign up for Revitalize Your Life. Drop me a note so we can connect.
Revitalize Your Life,
Dina, 203.744.YOU3 (9683), Well-Being Coach
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