Being Present is one of the popular phrases used today. What does it mean in the context of well being? Basically, being aware of and experiencing the situation which is going on currently.
When we can look at ourselves with self compassion, especially at moments of transition or considering change we can be realistic about our starting point and our expectations for ourselves; as a result, we may even see more options. Compassion allows acknowledgement of what is in the present. Recently, I read an article about self-compassion. One of the ideas the author put forth is that with self compassion there is an acknowledgement of self worth which is often more enduring than self esteem; self esteem seems to depend on our sense of success.
If you are trying to make a change and you are caught up in the “I should have lost weight before the problems…I should be doing more… why aren’t I further along… so and so is able to …” then a dose of self compassion may be called for. All those phrases of “should” and comparison aren’t serving or recognizing your individual situation, or your individual worth.
Currently, I am a primary caregiver for my mom who is dying of cancer. Not only is compassion called on for her, but self-compassion for myself to recognize what are my limitations and lovingly accept these. From here I can get my mom the help she needs and strengthen myself so that I can be more fully present for both of us.
Your present is the starting point for any change. If you want to lead a life of well being, pretending you are like a 30 year old when you are in your 50s is not the place to begin your fitness regime. This would take you on the wrong path for who you are now. The same need for compassionate honesty about who you are now applies to how you want to relate to people, work and your broader life.
Starting with now is the place to begin your journey to well being. To develop your self compassion, contact me.
Dina, 203 744-YOU3 (9683)
