A central component of well-being is the ability to have positive experiences. Experiencing is not the same as thinking about them; it requires that we feel the emotion and take in the experience. Sometimes this means we have to pause and take note of our sensations – what our body is feeling, perhaps a sense of calm or elation, what we are seeing, hearing and even at times smelling. These moments of positive emotion can be savored, so that in the future we may be able to recall them in our bodies as well as our minds.
Research over the last several decades has shown that humans function well when they have a ratio of 3:1 positive experiences to negative experiences, and they function best when the positive experiences occur in at 6:1 ratio. This is known as the Losado Ratio; check out this http://happierhuman.com/losada-ratio/ to learn more. The studies looked at success in relationships as well as successes regarding work. Those with more positive experience were able to function better. The funny thing is that positive experiences may be as small as appreciation of the good weather, sharing a smile with another person or a compliment from a co-worker. We are not talking about false flattery and compliments, but rather genuine successes, acknowledgements, and emotional experiences.
However, it seems that we humans have a predisposition toward negativity; perhaps it provided some protective mechanism as we evolved, like keeping our guard up against danger. When good things happen or a compliment comes our way, we diminish or minimize it. We even raise the bar for what we define as a positive/success experience.
So how can you expand your positive experiences?
- Listen to music you enjoy, it has been said that music soothes the savage soul
- Look at some photos of places or people that you enjoy and imagine yourself there
- Find something to look forward to, put it on your calendar and look forward to it
- Gratitude practices, like those discussed in recent blog posts
Person-Activity Fit is as important as the activity itself. Take some time to experiment and experience. See what boosts your happiness and increases your positive experiences.
The next time you get a compliment or succeed at a task, even as simple as doing a good job in writing notes or preparing a meal, allow yourself a few moments to enjoy the experience. This joy will be there for you to recall later, even when you may be feeling challenged.
To revitalize and have more joy and aliveness, contact me.
Dina, 203.744.YOU3 (9683)
