This quotation describes the benefit of forgiveness quite succinctly. When you are wronged, hurt or attacked by another person it’s natural to want to retaliate in some way. For good reason, most of the world’s religions and wisdom literature advocates forgiveness. Forgiveness contributes to your well-being and the vitality you have for your own life and those you care about.
In its basic form forgiveness involves shifting your desire to harm the offender; it suppresses and lessens your impulse for avoidance and revenge. Forgiveness does not mean excusing the behavior or forgetting the hurt, and it does not necessarily involve reestablishing the relationship with the transgressor.
Forgiveness is often one of the most challenging happiness boosters to engage in. It takes a great deal of effort, willpower, motivation and practice. Below are several strategies to support you with developing your capacity to forgive. Many can be done with the use of a journal, letter, or conversations. Use your imagination.
- Start with an easy forgiveness, for example one that bothers you but may not cause anger.
- Appreciate being forgiven think back to a time when your were forgiven; write a letter of apology; recognize and accept that sometimes you are the transgressor
- Imagine forgiveness – identify a situation and the particular person whom you blame for mistreating you; then view the situation from that person’s viewpoint.
- Write a letter of forgiveness – describe in detail the injury or insult you experienced, how it affected you and continues to have an impact. You don’t need to mail it.
- Ruminate Less see the blog from July 2, of this year.
Forgiveness is the 7th topic discussed. The timing for this coincides with the approach of the Jewish New Year, when forgiveness is an important theme. Whatever your spiritual practice, may your awareness of the importance of forgiveness lead you to using it. In so doing you’ll be revitalized and there will be more room for joy in your life.
Since June, I’ve been discussing 12 areas that have an impact on the 40% of happiness that is in your control. I hope that you’ve had a chance to practice and experiment with some of the ideas that have been outlined.
To develop your capacity for happiness, whether learning how to forgive or any of the other topics that can revitalize you, contact me.
Dina 203.744.YOU3 (9683)
